We Chip Flint
The following is a proposal for protocol
and etiquette for drinking beer while knapping: When ever
you drink beer and knap make sure that you have plenty
of beer and Band-Aids. Flintstone Band-Aids are the best
but duct tape will do. Always keep your beer close to
you and cold. Coolers should be placed near the edge of
the circle with at least a corner of it on the tarp. Never
place it in the center of the circle on account of the
risk of head injuries. If your from Texas bring Texas
beer and if you are from New York bring New York beer.
If you are from Pittsburgh don't bring beer. If you have
more than one cooler place them at roughly equal intervals
around the tarp. It's bad luck to have to stand up to
get a beer. Knapping points out of the bottom of beer
bottles is OK but it is better to drink the beer out of
it first. If you are drinking someone else's beer it is
obligatory to say "mmm that's good beer" at
least once during the knapping session, unless the beer
came from Pittsburgh. Beer bottles should not be considered
debitage in states where there is a deposit on the bottle
unless part of it is now an arrowhead. If someone is chugging
don't ask some stupid question like "How many pancakes
does it take to shingle the roof of a dog house?"
or beer might come out of his nose. [however if that person
has a sinus headache it's OK.] Never give more than 12
beers to a fellow who is going to his first Ooga Booga.
He won't be able to see the Chief. And finally the guy
who takes the last beer has to ask his spouse to go and
RULES: Take the chips out of your shoes before walking
upstairs to get a beer. Use caution when using flint chips
for sling shot ammo. They don't fly straight. Always use
a clean chip when you cut splinters out of your fingers.
When spalling anything larger than a grapefruit, do it
on the ground. Always wear gloves and boots in the garden
after you have roto-tilled your debitage into the soil.
Don't lick flint. If you drop your bubblegum in the debitage
don't let the dog in the garage.
I've been working on a theory that neither has been proved
nor disproved regarding the effects of flintkapping on
the human body. It's based solely on observation and experience.
Silica dust is inhaled by flintknappers regardless of
the precautions that we take. Very small particles of
silica go into the lungs and are actually absorbed into
the bloodstream in the form of silica hydroxide ions.
These ions have an affinity for each other and seritonin
molecules which tend to form small crystals in the synapses
of the brain and ganglia. Some of the crystals form in
the pleasure center of the brain as well as other places
of the brain. The other phenomenon that relates to this
theory is that each time you knap flint there is result
and electromagnetic energy that radiates from the fracture
plane as the outer valence rings of the silica molecules
drop into a lower energy level. It turns out that the
frequency of this radiation is exactly the same as them
icro crystals that form in the brain. Every time you fracture
flint in the vicinity of a person with this disorder,
that person experiences a short lived high created by
a release of seritonin. The closer you are to the source
of the electromagnetic energy the greater the reaction,
which explains our addiction to flintkapping and the fact
that flintknppers will spend their last dollar on long
trips to knap-ins to buy rocks and get near other people
breaking silica bearing rock in circles. Have you ever
noticed when a flintknapper takes off a nice flake there
is a kind of a snap that goes through you to the bone,
and all the knappers in the circle will say something
that was a good one"?